"Socha zaroor, par hua nahin...": Mohammed Shami recalls suicidal thoughts

New Delhi [India], September 14 (ANI): India's right-arm seamer Mohammed Shami admitted that he was encountering thoughts of dying by suicide, but rejected the idea, after realising the fact that the game of cricket has given so much to him.
Revealing his thoughts in the episode of Aap Ki Adalat with Rajat Sharma, Indian star pacer said, "Socha zaroor, par hua nahin, yeh shukr hai varna World Cup miss ho jata mere sey, kyunki jab wo thought aaya tha mere dimaag mein ki yeh time hai life ke end ka, jis cheez ke liye mujhe itna naam diya, jis cheez ke liye media mere pichhe hai, usko chhod ke is jump ke chakkar mein...Woh thought, woh pyaar yaad aayin. Socha chalo isko choodo, chalo game me lagte hain phir...(The thought came to my mind, but it did not happen, thank God, otherwise I'd have missed the World Cup.. The thought came to my mind to end my life, but then I decided, this game, which gave me so much name, why should I jump (to death), forgetting all these. I thought of the love and affection. Then I decided, forget this and focus on my game)."
In July this year, the Calcutta High Court directed Shami to pay his estranged wife, Hasin Jahan, and daughter a monthly alimony of Rs 4 lakh as maintenance. Jahan will have to be paid Rs 1.50 lakh per month, while the daughter will get Rs 2.50 lakh per month. Jahan, a former model, married Mohammed Shami in 2014.
The couple had a daughter in 2015. Mohammed Shami and Hasin Jahan separated in 2018 after she accused him of domestic violence.
Asked about abusive things that were said about him on social media after an allegation of domestic violence, Shami replied "Bad things are spoken about, but nowadays those things are spoken about which do not exist.. I am most scared of that. Yesterday, I was looking at a photograph, and I didn't know when I had taken it. The number of allegations that have been levelled against me in the last 6-7 years, maybe even a terrorist would not have been levelled so many allegations. I cannot do anything in this."
In 2018, Hasin Jahan had accused the cricketer of domestic violence. She had filed a petition in the Alipore court, accusing Shami and his family of harassing her. Jahan had demanded Rs 7 lakh per month from the pacer to maintain the family.
Shami last featured in a competitive game on May 2, representing Sunrisers Hyderabad in the Indian Premier League (IPL). That outing was a forgettable one for the pacer, as he went wicketless and conceded 48 runs in three overs against the Gujarat Titans.
The 2025 IPL season wasn't a remarkable one for Shami, as he managed six wickets in nine matches. He also missed India's high-profile Anderson-Tendulkar Trophy Test series in England earlier this year and has not been picked for the Asia Cup in September. He hasn't played for the national side since the ICC Champions Trophy in March.
In that Champions Trophy campaign, Shami was spearheading India's pace attack in Jasprit Bumrah's absence. He finished as India's joint-highest wicket-taker, claiming nine wickets in five matches, alongside mystery spinner Varun Chakravarthy, who bagged as many in just three games. Shami's efforts helped India lift the title after defeating New Zealand in the final.
He last played Test cricket for India in 2023 against Australia in England.
Now it will be interesting to see if Shami gets called for the home series against West Indies and the white-ball series against Australia. (ANI)